The Canvas

I fondly yet a little embarrassed remember after school days when I was about 12 years old. Immediately upon leaving school, I would go to the library and check out a book. I would then head to a local bodega and purchase a Diet Pepsi and pork rinds. I’m pretty sure I was almost a complete vegetarian at that time, and I don’t think I knew what pork rinds were until many years later. This is way before I began reading the ingredients of most everything I ate. Those who know me best know about my aversion to BHT and high fructose corn syrup. Oh, and all things pork. But, I didn’t know pork rinds came from pork. I must have thought they were like buffalo wings.

Comfortably on the stoop with my Pepsi, pork rinds, and book, I would sit relaxing. If I read something interesting, I would make a note of it on my…jeans. I had one pair and they were my journal or perhaps more like a canvas as they kind of became a work of art. I was classy though, and only wrote on the front of the jeans. I mean, it’s tacky to have writing on the back, right? That and I didn’t reach the back.

I remember these jeans because they “grew with me”, not that there was much to me at the time. They went from full length jeans to crop to capris. At some point I must have come across another pair as an upgrade. In that transition, though I don’t remember it, my other jeans disappeared.

Though I don’t remember how I lost them, I do remember the devastation. These jeans had been through so much with me (and on me). So much of my heart was poured via black magic marker on them. Many times, I would sit there and reread what was written on them. I felt secure with them and in them. But, like so many things we outgrow, I needed to let them go to make space for something better.

Those jeans are very representative of life during those years. The canvas of my life had so much already covering it there was little to no room for anything new. And on a canvas, one can only use the front! I needed an upgrade on that too and I am thankful that I came across it. More precisely, I faced the Cross and was given a new canvas. Then the choice of what would go on this canvas – the canvas of my heart and mind began.

I won’t add quotes or song lyrics at this time. My favorite volumes are still non-fiction. Your life, my life are non-fiction. He wants to write in them. He wants to paint on the canvas of our lives.  I can only invite you to let Him. I can only tell you the joy of growing with Him and in Him brings. You have to make a choice on what you want to go on your canvas. Others will see what’s on it. All I can say is that the upgrade is worth your while!