Didn’t know it was You

There’s a line in the song “Sweet Little Jesus Boy” that has been playing over and over in my head. Now, so that we are clear, my head only plays the Mahalia Jackson version. I feel it’s imperative for you to be aware of this detail. The single line is “We didn’t know it was You”.

This brought me back to a time when I had all four of The Hooligans at home. This particular year would be a rough Christmas as I was only working 30 hours per week making about $12 per hour with no other income or assistance. I believe their ages were 4, 6, 11, and 13. Those were the best of times and the worst of times. I’m sorry that I quoted Dickens but it fits.

One of the better parts of that period was my developing friendship with Wistful. Wistful and I met through mutual friends coordinating an event earlier that spring. We continued getting together and were becoming pretty good friends. She knew of my struggles and how sad it made me that I couldn’t “do” for my boys that Christmas. This was the same year that she coordinated a trip to The Biltmore and had “sponsors” pay for our tickets. There’s another wonderful story associated with that trip and Cinci, but we’ll save that one for another time.

Hanging on my door when we got back was a bag. This was very curious because I lived in the boonies at the time. It was very odd. When I opened it, I was very surprised. The bag contained a Christmas card, and within it a very generous gift card! When you think “generous” think a few hundred dollars generous. The card was unsigned and anonymous. I immediately thought it was from my home church.

A day or two later Wistful came over to help decorate the tree I purchased with said gift card and I kept going on and on…and on…and on about how thankful I was that my church family (according to me) thought enough to help me in this way. I also unashamedly and unequivocally, rambled on about how the young adult group we were a part of (in a different church) could not possibly understand my struggles as a single mom but thank goodness for my home church. This went on probably about ten minutes and Wistful could not take it anymore! She finally said, “Look, I wanted it to be a secret but since you keep going on…and on…and on…about how your ‘church family’ understands and loves you so much, you need to know it was from us – the young adult group”. (Disclaimer – I don’t remember the exact words as I was very embarrassed so, Wistful, feel free to correct as needed). All I could say was, "I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was you".

During Christmas time, I believe my story has variations in others’ lives. We forget whom it is supposed to be about and we forget whom it is that provides for such merry. John 1:10 (ESV) says, “He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.” I’d spent countless hours with this group and I did not know them either! I didn’t realize they understood and loved us enough to be so gracious. The Good News Version of John 1:16 summarizes this point well as it relates to Jesus – "Out of the fullness of his grace he has blessed us all, giving us one blessing after another".

I am thankful that Wistful was gracious enough to forgive my ignorance and I even more thankful that "out of His fullness (abundance) we have all received [all had a share and we were all supplied with] one grace after another and spiritual blessing upon spiritual blessing and even favor upon favor and gift [heaped] upon gift". John 1:16, Amplified version.

Merry Christmas!

Excess

Excess can be defined as “more than or above what is necessary, usual, or specified; extra or superabundance”. I really like “superabundance” mostly because I really like the word “super”. I also really like “quotation marks”.

The words excess, and its cousin superabundance, articulate well how blessed I feel and the blessings I’ve experienced God share with me this year. The more I think about them, the more I think about how undeserving I am and how Wonderful He is! It’s a great place to be.

The One that says, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) and “who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask” (Ephesians 3:20) has superabundantly proved it. Although I wonder, if I’ve just been paying more attention.

This year, though full of challenges professionally, and some economic uncertainties, has been abundantly and exceedingly filled with greatness. Cinci is the healthiest he’s been in years, Muscles continues to grow into an honorable young man, The Original Hooligans have made more appearances than usual, true friends are constant though not abounding, and I am loved beyond imagination.

Most of all, I understand more fully why “there is no law” against certain things. There is no excess when it comes to love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). I want to live that superabundantly. It is the season when it’s better to give than to receive after all. However, I pray this, being filled by the Spirit, is not seasonal but always excessively obvious in me.

Beholding

The following is a quote on the awesome turquoise free “business” cards I have – “Everything has beauty; not everyone sees it.” I wonder if we look long enough, intently enough to catch the glimpses of beauty all around us.

I remember when The Original Hooligans and The Hooligans were babies. I would stare into their precious faces and felt that their whole beings were beautiful by design because their Designer made them so. I saw art and uniqueness in their eyes, their little noses (some smaller than others), and the way their brain works. It seemed to me, there would be no time that they would be unlovely to this mom…and there has not been! I still see the art in them and I still believe they were designed specifically to be them.

Why is it that I can see the art in them but question the art and design in me? Oh, I very well know. It’s because instead of looking at the Designer, as I did in my children’s faces, I am looking only at me. I thought about this recently because I am blessed with people that see past the “me” in me but must see me through Him. I can think of no other reason why I should be unconditionally loved. It’s a beautiful thing to feel loved in that way.

Behold!, 1 John 3:1 reminds us that God Himself loves us and sees us this way! “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” Yet, even though God and His Beauty is all around us, not everyone sees Him.

There’s another lovely passage I like that says, “...Christ is our example. By beholding Him we are to be changed into His image, from glory to glory, from character to character. This is our work. God help us rightly represent the Savior to the world." –1SM 172 (RH Aug. 13, 1901).

Therefore, my challenge is to choose to behold the beauty and art in each other, but most of all, to behold the Artist and Designer. He loves us in such a manner as to bestow the best of a Fantastic Father!

Built to Last

One of my favorite parables Jesus told was the parable of the men that wanted to live by the sea. We all know that in real estate it’s all about – location, location, location. Beachfront homes are fun even though insurance tends to be very expensive. You can read about it in Matthew 7:24-27.

There is also a cute children’s song about this very thing. I’ve abbreviated it for your enjoyment – “The wise man built his house upon the rock…And the rain came tumbling down…Oh, the rain came down. And the floods came up…And the wise man's house stood firm. The foolish man built his house upon the sand…And the rain came tumbling down. Oh, the rain came down. And the floods came up…And the foolish man's house went "splat!...”

I am continually amazed at how God, through such seemingly simple yet direct lessons, reminds us of what makes things, in this case, a building, lasting. The principle, though, can be applied to more than must building. I admit, however, that all this came to mind while I was hanging up my clothes yesterday.

The Hooligans and I moved to a rental this past summer. We’ve had to adapt to very different sleeping and space arrangements than any of us were previously used to experiencing. The new arrangements caused me to take a bedroom without a closet! I had a HUGE walk-in closet in my old house. Now, I would not only have to share the one bathroom with two teenage boys (I must give them kudos because they’ve been very cognizant of how important it is for them to keep the bathroom in reasonably decent and clean condition) but I had no place to hang up my clothes. In the greater scheme of life, this is minor, but you just don’t know the number of dresses I own! Much like a great superhero came Triple M to the rescue.

Triple M offered to put of a closet rod with brackets. Now, we had only been dating a few months and I was not 100% confident that I would like this little project. I was already upset I did not have a closet and I was concerned that this would turn out badly. In hindsight, I should have known better. INTJ males are not known for doing things 99.9% -- they tend to do things 100%+!

We went shopping for the supplies and he came over with all the things needed and some power tools. It was cute. I have to tell you, this is the fanciest exposed closet I have ever seen. I was apprehensive about loading up all the clothes but it held up. This is how Triple M builds things. He builds them with care and he builds them to last.

I am blessed that his “building” abilities don’t stop there. He is proactively helpful, and considerate. He is the kind of person that you can call in an emergency and have the confidence he can help you. He puts us first (The Hooligans and me) more than he should most times, and speaks the truths that need to be spoken in love most of the time (he’s human, after all). He puts God first and others right after. I’ve seen him be selfless beyond need. All of that reminds me of the rest of that children’s song – “So, build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ... And the blessings will come down. Oh, the blessings come down as your prayers go up…So build your house on the Lord Jesus Christ.”

I wonder if the beachfront houses had closets???

Cornucopia

Oh, the “horn of plenty”! It’s such a beautiful reminder of all that is good. It’s sort of a wonderfully filled cannoli; the kind with enough sugar crystals to make your mouth do a happy dance if mouths could dance. Or perhaps a reminder of Bugles stuffed with cream cheese. It’s overflowing with plenty. The “plenty” though for some people is not as beautiful or good as the “plenty for others…or so it seems.

I don’t know if your life is like mine – a life where in the last year you’ve experienced losses and wins, pain and enjoyment, disappointments and unexpected surprises, broken relationships and loving relationships, mental breakdowns and sanity, misfortune and blessings. I will guess that it is. There has been “plenty” of all the aforementioned filling my life this year. It’s been a cornucopia filled with all of life’s experiences that have somehow made me stronger and my life even more beautiful overall.

Since God’s “no” has manifested as “No, because I want something better for you” I have no logical reason to complain. Have I always liked it? No, I have not. In addition, I’ve told Him as much! Thankfully, He is very patient with me and has a great sense of humor. I am blessed with human relationships that mirror those qualities as well.

In response to such a beautiful life I lead with wonderful adventures awaiting and exceptional people to share it with, you know, like the cream of the cannoli, I choose to be grateful hopefully not just this Thanksgiving season but also every day.

Fill someone’s life with goodness today. It makes it sweeter.

Trees

I’ve recently become enthralled with the concept of specific trees as specific memorials for specific events. You might remember that I like things in triplicate so I had mention that specifically.

I’ve been thinking about a picture of Triple M and me…one where we look like total tree huggers and not because we are environmentalists in any way, shape or form, but because we were literally hugging a tree in his back yard as his right hand reached for my left hand. Aww. That sounds so beautiful. What made the event even more special was that I earlier spilled some coconut milk (seed from a tree…did you like that reference) on my T-shirt at an awkward angle above the waist while making piña coladas. Bama Girl did not think they were special enough. I got her back though. That’s another story. There is something romantic, even redeeming about trees.

The first tree that comes to mind is the tree of knowledge of good and evil as depicted in Genesis (first book of the Christian Bible). God is so Wonderful and He was willing to share everything, well, almost. He asked, ever so politely, I might add, for Adam and Eve to eat from everything else except that tree because it would not be good for them. I will venture to say most of you know the story but if not, I invite you to read Genesis Chapters one through at least four to get the full scoop. Somehow, even though I am sure the Garden of Eden was like, well, Eden or Paradise. Eve was fooled into thinking 99.9% wasn’t enough. She wanted that 0.01%. I don’t understand that. Regardless, even in the “hey, I’ve prepared a megabizzillion wonderful goodies for you from which you can feast…just don’t touch this one, or even go near it” invitation to all things wonderful, Eve chose stupidly.

The next tree I am reminded of is a tree in transition. This tree became a cross. It was transformed into a redemptive tool for you and me. As Chris Rice wrote from Jesus’ point of view, “Now I can never forget how much you mean to me. 'Cause I will always remember whenever I see. Where I carved your name into my tree. Where I wrapped my heart around your name. Then I took your arrow through my heart…Just to say, ‘I love you’. ‘I really love you’.”

The last tree that comprises my enthrallment is the tree from the song “Don’t sit under the apple tree…” There is something very romantic about this song. I must admit that I thought the spirit and feeling of that song would be my experience with Triple M when we went apple picking. I’d pictured tall apple trees and small ladders leading to plentiful fruit filled trees. I even got a flannel shirt, the kind with the snaps for the outing.

I thought Triple M and I would skip along and he would say, “Don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me”, and we would sit under the tree. At that very moment, he would take a bite out of a beautiful apple, and I would tilt my head, giggle, and respond, “I won’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but you…” I was deceived by Groupon. And somewhere along the way I became dissatisfied with my 99.9% everyday experience with him, and wanted that 0.01%. We did get our picture taken…while standing up. It turned out to be one of my favorite M & M pictures.

I think back now and see how foolish it is to search for that 0.01% of what can never be instead of being filled with joy for the 99.9% that is – the reaching out in hands and heart to wrap me in the love of all things wonderful. I’ll be deceived no more.

The Buried Life

I like jars (oh, and he likes lemonade in case you have forgotten). I like jars so much that I repurpose them. I repurpose just about any glass jar type out there. So far, I’ve repurposed a jar to the following themes: snowmen, fishing, soccer, musical notes, birds, and various names and/or initials. Sometimes I wonder if this is just silly and possibly dangerous.

The times I specifically wonder are when I am watching one of those “hoarding” shows. For some reason I cannot fully understand, I get concerned I will end up with 17,295 jars in my 800 sq. ft. rental with every intent in the world to repurpose as a gift for someone…because we all know how many people MUST be lining up to receive a jar from me!

I’ve watched this show semi-regularly for about a year. I am always both disturbed and disheartened by the plight of the sufferer or “hoarder” on the show. There is almost always a defining moment that transformed some sort of collection activity to an obsession and usually tied in with severe and traumatic loss of a loved one. I’ve been thinking about defining moments and how they can (but don’t have to) overwhelm us or bury us in different ways. I’ve also been thinking about how our own actions further deepen the depth of our condition.

There are some specific ways we bury our life unnecessarily. I’ve listed some below but I bet we can come up with numerous others.

• We bury ourselves with worry
• We bury ourselves with our destructive behavior
• We bury ourselves with isolation
• We bury ourselves with our selves and our selfish desires
• We bury ourselves in our work

It seems to me that the more I let myself be buried by those things I listed above, the less likely I am to acknowledge the wonderful people around me that motivate me to make those cutesy jars to begin with! In addition, I marvel at the fact that Jesus likes to think of us as jars. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says that “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (ESV).

This is the buried life we should live – to know that within each of us is treasure, even though sometimes it seems hidden. The power of God reveals it, if we let Him. The only kind of “buried life” I want to live is the one I chose when I decided to follow Jesus…

Romans 6:4: We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. (ESV)

And so we can walk in newness of life instead of a buried life! I like that; I like that a lot! I invite you along and hey, I might even make you a jar! I will fill yours up with jellybeans...

Furiously Fasting for Donuts

(Warning: may not be suitable for those that have cravings of the circular sweet and delightfully cakey kind)

Those close to me can tell you I typically prefer green juice to sweets any day. Yes, I am weird like that and perfectly okay with it. There is something magical about this green beverage with its sprouts, kiwi, broccoli, green apples, celery, lime…As I used to tell the Original Hooligans and The Hooligans when they were small – “Yummy, yummy in my tummy”. Every once in a while, however, and as Muscles sometimes says, I get a hankering for something sweet. This past Saturday night, I got a hankering for a Krispy Kreme chocolate cake donut. Lucky for me, the closest Krispy Kreme is only a few miles from my house and on the way to and from Triple M’s house. Unluckily for my thighs, the closest Krispy Kreme is only a few miles from my house and on the way to and from Triple M’s house.

For those of you not familiar with Krispy Kreme donuts, they are like a guilty pleasure with glaze. Now, it’s amusing that my guilty pleasure (S-E-X and the get out of her my people) showcased this on one of their episodes. I can’t go into the episode here because then this will turn from G, or possibly PG to not so PG quickly. My favorite donut is the chocolate cake donut, with glaze, of course.

As I normally do on Saturday evenings, I was spending some much needed quality time with my favorite super hero, Triple M. I think Triple M would agree that I don’t ask for a lot. I am neither neurotic in my requests nor demanding. Somehow, though, when I do ask for something, my timing is impeccably inappropriate. It’s a gift; what can I say.

On the way to my house from Triple M’s house (by the way, his house is always appropriately impeccable), I saw the light! I literally saw the light…of the Krispy Kreme storefront all lit up! I asked if I could pretty please with wonderful glaze on top have a chocolate cake donut. “Are you sure? It’s so packed”, announced Triple M. Now, “Are you sure?” in Triple M dialect means, “I love you but I really would rather listen to Sara Groves than pull into a ridiculously packed small parking lot on a Saturday night…” I very whiningly said we didn’t have to but what a nice opportunity it would be if we did then he could teach me how to make a left turn on this busy complicated street (batting my dark chocolate brown eyes). I don’t ask for a lot, so to the turning lane he goes.

From this moment on, words cannot eloquently explain what happened next so you have to visualize it in terms of awesome cars like a Charger a la Fast and the Furious. He gets in the left turn lane with another car approaching head on to turn the opposite way. Triple M then moves over rather quickly (think my nails on the dashboard by now) and back around that car to make a left turn. He turns…almost unto vehicles leaving or at least attempting to leave the parking lot. Triple M tries to go through the drive-through and then rethinks this when there are literally about ten cars ahead of us…no room to park either. What happens next, is kind of a blur but it involves him backing out while a car is pulling in the lot behind us, turning around to turn left across three lanes of traffic. He did it by zig zagging between a few cars then says, “that’s how you turn left here…”

I was speechless, which was a good thing because from the looks of my Racer, he was in no mood to, well, for anything! We drove the rest of the few miles to my place without any sort of donut, not even a sprinkled one (insert sad face here). Triple M did offer to stop at a convenience store and get a donut, but you know, it’s just not the same. And that’s how I ended up fasting for a donut on a Saturday night.

Don’t fret friend! The story has a happy ending. We stopped by Krispy Kreme on the way to his house on Sunday afternoon. You didn’t think my super hero would fail me, did you? He never does. It’s always a circular way to a sweet delightful ending.

Jr.-like salvation (not the department store kind)

If you asked me my favorite ages in children, I would likely say the “tween” years (10-13) followed by two to three year olds and then teenagers overall. I am not certain what this says about my mind’s stability, but I can tell you that there are, in my opinion, no other more crucial times in a child’s life than during those years and in my opinion, in that order. We all know that I received my training in the school of “A Wing and a Prayer” so I must be 100% correct. That and spending the majority of my life raising children and continuing on, as Maureen says, to do so.

There is a certain je ne c'est quoi (I used that term just to try to impress Muscles) about pre-teen children that both attracts and eludes. They have developed their own little selves, are still playful, and are trying to figure out who they want to become, or even whom to pattern after. It’s such a formative time. Those of us that are blessed and responsible to contribute to their edification have a high calling and task ahead.

For many years, I taught the 10 to 13 year old age group at church. I cannot begin to tell you how AWESOME this experience was for me. In fact, I miss it, and miss it a lot. The kids were so inquisitive and attentive. I remember distinctly that I learned as much from them as I tried to share. If I had to pick the one thing I liked most about them was that they are exceptional readers of genuine communication versus canned attempts; they are great doo doo detectors.

If they asked a question about God, they didn’t want “textbook” answers. They wanted experiential answers. They wanted to know what it meant to “me” and why it should mean something to them. Oh, don’t get me wrong, my little group wanted to prove it with their Bibles but wanted to know how to apply and why they should even try to apply it to their lives.

Another reason they are my favorite age group is of all the groups, they are the most real in their skin and in their actions. Life is awkward. Life is always changing and is unscripted. They answer abruptly (the way I sometimes want to), they feel deeply (the way we all should), and they acknowledge they don’t really know what’s going on! I heartily believe that at the core and center of who we are, we are perennial seventh graders waiting for the braces to come off and hit the growth spurt!

I know it’s not always appropriate to be like a seventh grader (just like it’s not appropriate to continue shopping in the Jr.’s department past the age of 22 per Stacey and Clinton from What Not to Wear). But when it comes to salvation, I feel pretty certain that Jesus wants us to bring our awkwardness and grievances of unfairness to Him, just like Juniors tend to verbalize it. I think the kids get the excellent doo doo detection skills from Him! I am also certain He calls some of us to help these “kids” develop the script of their life. That’s even more fun than hitting the mall…

The Shedding Sweater

As I was removing lint from my awesome shrug/bolero style jacket, my mind’s eye went back to a bittersweet time in my life when the Original Hooligans and The Hooligans all lived with me and I worked with my sweet friend “Ageless”.

I’ve decided to name her Ageless for the following reasons:

• In an un-annoying way, she never seems to physically age. She looks beautiful even though years keep passing. They seem to pass her by.
• She is a classic and wonderful dresser! She is always trendy without being inappropriate. 
• Her core values transcend societal norms. She is a great mom and has been together with the same man for more than half her life. Some even dub her “Wonder Woman”. I agree
• No matter how much time passes between our “visits”, she remains a true friend; really more like a sister that lives across the country.

Ageless and I worked together almost ten years ago. We worked in a small office and became good friends. I think she won me over with her exceptional sweet tea and cheese ball. Those were great days…when she brought sweet tea and cheese balls. I was also chunkier. I’m not saying it was her fault or anything but…

We had little traditions like getting sweet tea (for her) and a Diet Coke with lemon and no ice (for me). I also would make smoothies for us from time to time. You should ask her sometime about the infamous “wheat germ” smoothie. That was something. I digress though.

Ageless listened to me throughout some of the worst years of my life. She listened more than she offered opinions although I know sometimes she wished she could shake some sense into me to take control of those things that I could control. Still, she always showed love and understanding, even when she wanted to intervene violently on my behalf.

I specifically remember the time that my home was robbed. It was a very curious event. The “robber(s)” entered with a key and only took all of my belongings including all my clothes, makeup, and those feminine products that are advertised with women only wearing white clothes. The “robber(s)” also took my journals that I had since I was a teenager which were hidden behind several other books. It was an interesting robbery. The police were pretty sure they knew who burglarized my home since none of the children’s belongings were taken, but could never prove it. Somehow, some things are never this person’s fault!

The next day, I went to work with the same exact clothes I had on the day before. Now, I am not a spiffy dresser like Ageless but she knew something was wrong. I shared my tale of nakedness and such and I could tell she once again wanted to intervene violently on my behalf. She is the kind of friend that suffers with you. She’s precious. Somewhere along the way, another coworker ran out and bought me a black sweater. It was lovely except for one thing – it shed a lot. For the next few days, I wore this sweater and left a trail of little black lint balls everywhere I went in the office. Thankfully for the vacuum cleaner, the insurance check came in and I could replace my clothes. Guess who agreed to go with me to the mall? Of course Ageless did! I think she did a better job than Stacey and Clinton on “What Not to Wear”.

It meant so much to me that she would take the time to do this for and with me. During this rough patch, her support and compassion helped me shed more than just that sweater. She helped me shed some negative thoughts and she helped me shed light on the person I really am. She even helped me shed my circumstances and take charge of the things I can control.

I can honestly attribute some of the successes I’ve enjoyed to her support and friendship. She helped me shed my shell of insecurity and embrace new ways to view and display myself without leaving a trail of little black anything behind.

Because He first loved me...The trilogy ends.

(This is the final installment on my "review" of the fundemental beliefs of the SDA church. Tune in next Friday for my take on "Junior-like salvation"-not the department store kind)

19. Law of God: No if salvation issue means I believe I can be saved by obeying them. The law is a written version, shall we say a temperament or character assessment of God. Why would I want to hurt God’s feelings after all He has done for me by purposely defying Him and ruining my life in the process? So yes, I believe that the Ten Commandments are still valid. Do I believe that I can be saved by keeping them? No. Do I believe I can be lost by breaking them? Possibly. I just don’t think Jesus likes to get slapped in the face. I don’t plan to murder anyone or lie or steal, so those are easy. I would say for me, taking the name Christian in vain probably has had the most effect. Some actions alienate me from Jesus, so those are salvation related.

 20. Sabbath: Maybe I’m dumb, but I’ve never understood why this is separate from the one above. Yes, I believe that the 7th day of the week known as Saturday is the actual day God ordained for us to rest from our labors; actually it was before that at Creation so we could have quality time. It’s so great. But I don’t believe keeping it will save me and I don’t believe it’s more special than the other commandments. Boy, I wish we would focus on “thou shalt not commit adultery” a little more. In this day and age, we also need emphasis on that one. I know it’s a point of contention especially as we get to the end of time and in particular with Rome’s influence on other Protestant churches observance as Sunday. I would go to church both days without feeling any guilt. But I like going to church and I like to be with people that praise and love the Lord every day of the week. Sabbath for some is such drudgery. Have some fun people. God wants to spend time with you and not that I want to speak for Him, but showing a little more enthusiasm about seeing Him would probably make Him happy. By the way, I totally believe in Sabbath preparation and doing only what’s necessary. Don’t label me yet.

21. Stewardship: God doesn’t need our money but wants our heart. This is a personal issue. It may be a salvation issue for those that choose to rob God of what is rightfully His but I can’t say that’s the intent. I think there is a lot of confusion on this topic. For example, some feel that their time is the same as their money. I don’t know quite how to argue against that. I tithe, I do and I’ve seen miracles. Have I always been 100% faithful? I’m ashamed to say I’ve not been but God has treated me more like a daughter than like an IRS agent and I am thankful for that.

 22. Christian Behavior: not a salvation issue to the extent that my behavior doesn’t smack Jesus in the face. I don’t believe that I would be lost if I wore earrings or makeup or painted my toe nails. I do wear makeup and I do paint my toe nails. Please don’t begin looking at my toes! If you do and think I’m going to Hades, please at least say so to me directly! I’ve never been fond of jewelry. I think it’s ridiculous how it’s okay to get a watch when you get engaged, oh, and wear it on your right wrist. The watch can cost $2k but as long as it’s not an engagement ring, it’s okay. It seems to me the modest $250 engagement ring is less offensive, but whatever! I don’t even have my ears pierced so…Tastes are so subjective. So if I’m blessed enough to find someone that will love me enough to want to marry me, and he gives me a ring, I will wear it. I guess after all the above, I may be dis-fellowshipped already, so maybe I don’t have to worry? j/k. I hope you still love me after this.

23. Marriage and the Family: Salvation depends on the Lord! Having a great family is gravy.

 24. Christ's Ministry in the Heavenly Sanctuary: Absolutely a salvation issue. He makes intercession for me. And I bet several of you think I really need it. Seriously though, He is our Advocate and I am happy to accept Him as such. I need Him. I am confident in Him and that His sacrifice is enough.

25. Second Coming of Christ: Christ will physically return with the entire world watching. He will resurrect the righteous of the dead and they and the righteous living will be taken to heaven. All others will die. The fulfillment of prophecy and the present condition of the world indicate that Christ's coming is imminent. I preface this by saying I whole heartedly believe that Christ’s second coming will not be in secret, and will be audible, visible, and known by all as the Bible says. However, I really don’t see someone understanding this differently as a salvation issue.

26. Death and Resurrection: Because we sin, we must die. After death, we will sleep until Christ wakes and resurrects the righteous. Although I believe this, I don’t see someone’s different interpretation as a salvation issue. I’ve belonged to churches that won’t sing “I’ll Fly Away” because it could be misinterpreted but we sing “The Old Rugged Cross”. I don’t get that. In the latter, you can argue we are singing about the instrument and not the Savior. When I fall asleep in Jesus, I will have no sense of time; therefore my next thought is being with the Lord. I do however think it’s a little creepy to assign omnipresent prowess to relatives that have passed on. I will leave it at that.

27. Millennium and the End of Sin: The earth will be occupied not by Jesus, but by Satan for a thousand years. The dead will be judged and no humans shall survive. At the end of the millennium, Jesus and the angels will return to banish Satan and with fire cleanse the earth to remove all trace of sin. I guess by this time I’m safely saved so…

28. New Earth: The redeemed will have an eternal and perfect dwelling with God, and will live without sin. This was part of the point. But we should remember the main point is eternal life with our Lord and Savior.

 If you stayed with me through the end, I look forward to your feedback. I am not looking to argue nor defend any position I presented here and it was not my intent to offend anyone. I don’t think our difference in denominations makes one more “Christian” than the other. We’re supposed to be Christians first, then…whatever. Should there even be a whatever?

If you know me well, you know I equate most experiences with a song. I invite you to sing along with me the words to that simple yet AFLAC (you have to check out www.stuffchristianslike.net to understand that one) hymn, “O, How I love Jesus”

 There is a name I love to hear, I love to sing its worth
It sounds like music in my ear, the sweetest name on earth

CHORUS
O, how I love Jesus, O, how I love Jesus, O, how I love Jesus
Because He first loved me

 It tells me of a Savior’s love, who died to set me free
It tells me of His precious blood, the sinner’s perfect plea

CHORUS


It tells of One whose loving heart can feel my deepest woe
Who in each sorrow bears a part that none can bear below


CHORUS

Make-up Emergency!

I have a pretty down pat morning make-up routine. I put my hair up in a half ponytail, I spackle tinted moisturizer on my face followed by eyelid concealer, then stare…I stare in amazement or disgust depending on my mood.

After I stared into my fair (read pasty white) freckled face yesterday and finished considering what color eye shadow I was going to use to enhance my fabulous dark chocolate brown eyes, I got ready to put on my favorite (and only) powder foundation. Then – an event of epic and astronomical proportions such as never has occurred to anyone ever on earth: I realized I was out of my famous pink brand Ivory 2 powder foundation.

What do you imagine my reaction was? Do you imagine I shrugged my arms and thought, “No one will notice” and continued on, as Maureen says? INCORRECT. Do you imagine that I searched high and low for another type of foundation? NOPE, wrong again! Do you imagine that I opted for clown face instead therefore not necessitating famous pink brand Ivory 2 powder foundation? No…I did the most logical and sensible thing one does in such cases. I went directly to Facebook and posted the following on the wall of my famous pink brand make-up consultant. I guess we shall call her MKC-“I have a makeup emergency! No more powder foundation =(“

Then I waited…well I couldn’t actually wait forever since I had to be at work so I guess then I went to work. While at work, I pondered on my “emergency”.

Regretfully I confess that this has not been my first “make-up emergency”. I have a feeling that you may be like me. Perhaps we’ve used words such as “astronomical, epic, life changing” for events that truly are of little consequence. We don’t appreciate the word “emergency” as we should. How many times in the last 18 months have we heard the ridiculous reports about someone calling 9-1-1 due to a minor slight such as not receiving the correct number of upside down W chicken nuggets? Is this what we’ve come to? Was calling 9-1-1 an option I neglected? I mean, I am rather scary without appropriate make-up and with all the talk of vampires and zombies, I certainly don’t want to be mistaken for one!

The unsuitable and exaggerated use of those words has desensitized us to their true meaning. Tsunamis, earthquakes, famines, droughts, our economy, death…those ARE events of astronomical and epic proportions. Being slightly pale for a couple of days, not so much.

I hope to remember that myself the next time I chip a nail, I get behind a car going the speed limit when I’m in a hurry, or I buy a teal pen by mistake instead of a turquoise one. I tell you, making up emergencies is truly exausting!

Because He first loved me... part two

This is a continuation from last Friday's blog. In this installment, I continue to look at the fundemental beliefs of my church and how I agree! The conclusion will be in part three next Friday, August 19th.

10. Experience of Salvation. Salvation issue. However, in my opinion, we Adventists are such joy kills to others on this point. Do we really have to fight over once saved always saved? The Christians, whatever denomination they are, that truly live in a constant state of knowing they are saved, loving God, serving others, are the happiest people I know. I’m more of a believer like the song “Savior please, keep saving me.” It was once and for all, wasn’t it? I hate playing semantics with this one. It makes people mad. Honestly, I can totally see why. It’s like we convince people Jesus is Mighty to save no matter what our transgressions and people are like “YES!” then we pull the carpet out from under them and say, “No, no, no, not so fast. Don’t be too sure. Did you do everything right yesterday. There you go. You can’t act too sure. Yes, He’s Mighty but you never know…”

11. Growing in Christ: Salvation issue but this is individual. Who can judge it? Baby steps to some may look like leaps and bounds to others. Yes, I said earlier there is evidence. And there is. But we have to continually allow the Holy Spirit to show us that evidence. Because we label so much or we expect so much, we don’t see. We end up impeding progress by our demands instead of letting Jesus work individually with others. Let’s pay more attention to ourselves on this point, shall we? We know. We know what the Lord is saying to our hearts. Let’s focus on that.

12. Church: Here I go. I’m actually not sure if I categorize this as a salvation issue or not. There are those that through persecution cannot meet together, there are those that have experienced toxic church situations but are still followers, there are those that are shut in. So can I say belonging to a church is a salvation issue, I can’t. Do I believe personally in the advantages of going to church? Absolutely. And I go, so that should speak more than my indecision. Ask me during the time of trouble.

13. Remnant and Its Mission: I don’t think this qualifies as either precisely. The remnant is composed of individuals that as moved and prompted, share the Good News with those that don’t know Jesus. I do have a problem with any denomination that claims to be the only one that has been called or does God’s work. I don’t get that, especially if remnant is what’s left and we are not at that point yet. Very, very, near, yes, but I have way too many brethren in other denominations to assign myself that label yet.

14. Unity in the Body of Christ: If we define salvation issue as something that helps us stay alive, then yes. Have you ever belonged to a church or home that’s divided? It’s rough. Our relationships with each other help mold us. Look up Ephesians 4:29 for my position on how we should treat each other.

15. Baptism: Yes and no. It’s kind of like this. If you have the opportunity and you are preparing for it but keep postponing it because it’s not convenient, then that’s a reason for some soul searching. It’s kind of like the couple that’s engaged for like 10 years and never gets married. What’s the point? Some people don’t get the opportunity therefore I can’t just say yes.

16. Lord's Supper: I have to say no. Anything that we measure or test people’s growth in before we allow them or they feel like they can participate, I have to say no to. I love communion, it’s a fantabulous time. I will NEVER say no to a party with Jesus. But it can become simply tradition so I have to say no.

17. Spiritual Gifts and Ministries: not using them or using them inappropriately is in my opinion an affront to God. However, sometimes this part becomes too works oriented so I have to say no. I say this because if I got hit by a train tomorrow and survived and could do nothing, I rest assured in my relationship with the Lord. Even if I could do nothing for Him, I would still be saved.

18. The Gift of Prophecy: Here we go again. And sometimes as Adventists we forget the church’s actual position on her writings.

AFFIRMATIONS

1. We believe that Scripture is the divinely revealed word of God and is inspired by the Holy Spirit.
2. We believe that the canon of Scripture is composed only of the sixty-six books of the Old and New Testaments.
3. We believe that Scripture is the foundation of faith and the final authority in all matters of doctrine and practice.
4. We believe that Scripture is the Word of God in human language.
5. We believe that Scripture teaches that the gift of prophecy will be manifest in the Christian church after New Testament times.
6. We believe that the ministry and writings of Ellen White were a manifestation of the gift of prophecy.
7. We believe that Ellen White was inspired by the Holy Spirit and that her writings, the product of that inspiration, are applicable and authoritative, especially to Seventh-day Adventists.
8. We believe that the purposes of the Ellen White writings include guidance in understanding the teaching of Scripture and application of these teachings, with prophetic urgency, to the spiritual and moral life.
9. We believe that the acceptance of the prophetic gift of Ellen White is important to the nurture and unity of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
10. We believe that Ellen White's use of literary sources and assistants finds parallels in some of the writings of the Bible.

DENIALS

1. We do not believe that the quality or degree of inspiration in the writings of Ellen White is different from that of Scripture.
2. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White are an addition to the canon of Sacred Scripture.
3. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White function as the foundation and final authority of Christian faith as does Scripture.
4. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White may be used as the basis of doctrine.
5. We do not believe that the study of the writings of Ellen White may be used to replace the study of Scripture.
6. We do not believe that Scripture can be understood only through the writings of Ellen White.
7. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White exhaust the meaning of Scripture.
8. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White are essential for the proclamation of the truths of Scripture to society at large.
9. We do not believe that the writings of Ellen White are the product of mere Christian piety.
10. We do not believe that Ellen White's use of literary sources and assistants negates the inspiration of her writings.

We conclude, therefore, that a correct understanding of the inspiration and authority of the writings of Ellen White will avoid two extremes: (1) regarding these writings as functioning on a canonical level identical with Scripture, or (2) considering them as ordinary Christian literature.

You may check out the complete statement at http://www.whiteestate.org/issues/scripsda.html Replacing the Bible with Ellen White’s writings is definitely a salvation issue. She was a prophet. She is dead now. She left wonderful works. She is not God and not part of the Godhead. If we studied our Bibles more, we would not “need” her. It can be a crutch. It’s a salvation issue not in a good way.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR PART THREE AND FINAL THOUGHTS!
 

Because He first loved me...

(This is Part One of Three so get ready. Part Two will appear on Friday, August 12th)

I wrote this last summer. I won’t provide all the boring and now not relevant background on what started it. Let’s just say someone thought I was not “Christianee” enough. You see, while I hold steadfastly to what I believe, and feel extremely comfortable not having to defend this, I measure, if measure is the right word, others’ relationship with the Lord based on the evidence in their life, and not on what they necessarily profess. If it’s real, it’s lived out loud. You can’t fake loving the Lord, and if you love the Lord, you don’t have to fake it. In my opinion, it’s impossible to hide it (check out Peter trying to deny Jesus successfully for an example).

I’ve often said that I became a Seventh Day Adventist first and later a Christian. What I mean by that is that it’s possible to profess by tradition, doctrinal regurgitation, and behavior, a faith that does not live up to what being a Christian encompasses. Being a follower of Jesus is more than observance, it’s more than tradition, it’s more than a denomination – it’s more than a label.

We like to label things. It begins when we are born. We get a name. If we’re lucky, our parents have enough sense not to name us something “unique” aka ridiculous. Then as we develop, other labels appear. Some are descriptors like happy, quirky, outgoing, reserved, quiet, extroverted, etc. Some are not nice like loser, ugly, pain, know-it-all, etc. Later as adults we get the fun ones, like liberal, conservative, anarchist, etc. Labels by design are descriptors that forewarn the audience of the content. The problem with labels as it relates to people is that people can’t be defined by one label, at least not usually. It’s the inclusivity of it all. We want to belong. The only label that I have accepted as my own is “Christian” since being labeled a Christian would be the biggest affirmation that Christ has changed my life. Asides from that one, I can do without labels.

My biggest issue with labels is that placing all-inclusive labels on people limits our healthy perception. For example, it’s not a secret that my face typically expresses my excitement. However, that doesn’t mean you know me if you don’t know how to interpret those faces. Partly because of my work, and partly because of my temperament (ENTP with ENTJ tendencies--I’m always one point away from either P or J; it’s weird, I know-- aka Choleric/Sanguine) I have trained myself to NOT make faces. So, although you may think you can typically guess how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, you can’t. I have learned to be very guarded. An extrovert that is guarded is very strange, but I digress by labeling myself. We limit healthy perceptions of others by disregarding conditions and the Lord’s leading when we automatically assign a position or frame of mind to someone without asking them what they really believe or think. I believe this happens within denominations.

There are differences between denominations, this is true. Some differences are self imposed, many based on tradition, a few based on preferences, and others based on different interpretation of particular Bible teachings. With the exception of what may be included in the latter, most differences are not what I believe are salvation issues. A salvation issue (my words) is one that separates us from God, alienates us from a continuing relationship with Jesus, and interferes with the Holy Spirit’s sanctifying work in our lives. If it doesn’t do that, I don’t think it’s an issue worth fighting over. But that’s just me; feel free to disagree.

With that in mind, I wanted to go through our denominational beliefs or creed and give my take on them. I hope that, whatever denomination you are, you take the time to reflect on the same. You may surprise yourself with what you really think and remind yourself of what you should believe. Adventists hold 28 beliefs. When we are baptized, we attest to them all. I’ve yet to meet one that follows them all or believes 100% in each. Something about being human and God allowing us to make our minds up for ourselves…

My commentary on each is simply going to reflect whether I believe it’s a salvation issue or a non salvation issue and why. I am hoping I don’t get dis-fellowshipped after this, but I am simply being honest.

1. Holy Scriptures: The Holy Scriptures, Old and New Testaments, are the written infallible revelation of the will and Word of God. Absolutely a salvation issue. The Bible truly is God’s letter to us. Not only is Jesus revealed throughout, we can see history unfold via prophecy, and receive common sense everyday guidance on daily living topics like health, work, inter personal relationships, and so much more. If we don’t believe what the Bible has to say, then how can we believe God?

2. Trinity: There is one God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, a unity of three co-eternal Persons. God is immortal, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Absolutely a salvation issue. I cannot fathom having a relationship with Jesus without believing that in conjunction with the Father and Holy Spirit, they made available the plan of salvation.

3. Father: God is the loving and merciful creator and ruler of all. Salvation issue. We were designed by God and He makes provision for us. I cannot imagine His Splendor.

4. Son: Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. He lived to experience temptation and to be an example of the power and righteousness of God. Jesus will return to deliver salvation and order to all. Salvation issue. “No one comes to the Father except through the Son.” Jesus died for us, for me!!! Furthermore, He’s coming back for me soon. Talk about happily ever after and Prince Charming. There is something to that little girl’s longing for a hero to rescue her and carry her off to safety. Jesus is that and so much more.

5. Holy Spirit: Through the Holy Spirit, God inspired the writers of Scripture. The spirit gives us faith and conviction to share the goodness of God with our fellow man. Salvation issue. I don’t know how we could have victory without the Holy Spirit, the Comforter strengthening us.

6. Creation: God has created all things, and set aside the Sabbath as a day of rest in memory of the glory of the creation of the earth and man. Salvation issue. Well, at least the understanding that the Godhead created us in their image and wanted to spend time with us. You can’t have a relationship without spending time together, uninterrupted time. Yes, I am a quality time person so this one is essential for me.

7. Nature of Man: Man and woman were made in the image of God, and are blessed with a free will. We are imperfect, and are thus subject to suffering and death. God calls all to love one another and to care for all of creation. Salvation issue but reflected more in how we treat other people. We need to give people freedom, love, time, and truth for their development. That last part is courtesy of Dr. Tom McFarland. “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

8. Great Controversy: There is a great controversy between good and evil, between Christ and Satan. The rebellion provoked by Satan has led to sin and strife between us as well. Although tempted by Satan, man is guided and protected by the Holy Spirit and angels sent by Christ. Salvation issue. A basic understanding of this helps us understand why bad things happen to good people. We are therefore not resentful towards God and hence our relationship is stronger.

9. Life, Death, and Resurrection of Christ. Duh! Absolute salvation issue. His example leads me to be a better person in serving others, His death paid the penalty for my sin, and His resurrection sealed the possibility of my eternal life. That does sound selfish but considering He would have done it for just me (or just you), hey, I’m happy.

TUNE IN NEXT FRIDAY FOR PART TWO!

Journal(ism)

As conversationalists, people like me (ENTPs) may be described as fluent, mentally quick, and often enjoy verbal sparring with others. While doing so, we may even switch sides just for the love of the debate. This is good and all, until you say something you wish was retractable, or like the feature in Outlook that allows you to “recall” the message. I don’t know if you’re like me, but when someone tries to “recall” a message I’m like, “Ooh, I wonder what they said they shouldn’t have…” and therefore open the original message quicker than I run to the break room when someone brings chocolate chip cookies!

This switching of sides for giggles and grins backfires from time to time. It’s difficult to prove yourself credible when people don’t know where you really stand on an issue. Although I enjoy a debate, it’s equally enjoyable to me for those I care about to know confidently what my important “isms” are. I am speaking of the “isms” that represent my philosophical, political, moral, and/or belief system.

I had such a backfire, or maybe it was a misfire, I am not sure, last night. All I know is that yesterday while watching episode five of “The Pacific” with Triple M, I began a ridiculous conversation about Military Recruiters and their hideous tactics. My main source of information in my very intellectual (read as misinformed) argument was Michael Moore. Yes, Michael Moore. The guy that dropped out of college, hates guns, will not appear on a wellness poster any time soon, and hates most “isms” that I deeply value, especially capitalism. That guy. That was my one and only source.

I tried to recover; I sure did. Triple M was gracious. He looked disturbed though and while attempting to understand what in the world I was trying to say got the Joe Friday, “Just the facts, ma’am” look on his face. My “recovery” included the wonderful phrase, “We can agree to disagree” except I really didn’t know what I was talking about. I think he forgave me. That or I shall find myself in the presence of his dad (who was drafted back in the day), in front of a podium at Triple M’s house to continue the debate while his dad observes and judges for credibility.

Thankfully, my spirits were lifted when I got home. I had a special parcel from Señorita! She sent me the most beautiful journal with a painting of dogs sitting on beach chairs. This reminded me of another time I didn’t know what I was talking about while searching for the beach (the kind surrounded by an ocean). I was misinformed and misguided on that particular trek, but eventually found the place I meant to find. Señorita also included the loveliest note. She made me sound like golden retriever puppies that smell of cotton candy and have bubbles surrounding them.

I am thankful for the agapism as shown by Señorita in her awesome note. I am thankful that Triple M puts up with my conceptualism even when it’s not filled with intellectualism and Michael Moore, boo you! I am all about capitalism. I’m writing THAT in my new journal!

Having your cake…

About 18 months ago, I was impressed with the fact that I’ve had everything I’ve ever wanted; just never all at the same time. This includes: being in love, living in the location of my dreams, being loved, purchasing a home, having a good hair day, getting along with my children, having turquoise walls, being out of debt, having a fulfilling job, being thin, reaping career success, and being of sound mind.

When I realized this, I was both relieved and concerned. I was relieved because I no longer felt like I was “missing” something during those times that I didn’t have it all (or all together). Then I felt concerned because I felt like I lost the oomph to better myself if I accepted this. I mean, what’s the point in having your cake and not eating it? I never understood why it’s a bad thing to have your cake and want to it eat. Why bake it? Why frost it? Why slice it? Why serve it?...if not to eat it! (and probably have seconds too!)

Triple M, The Hooligans, and I had been discussing finding a church home now that The Hooligans and I relocated to a new area. Well, the area itself is not new as I lived here for about a decade some years back. I live in the same general area as before but not close enough to attend my former church. Our list of requirements was not that extensive. We wanted a church home that is biblically sound with conservative values but without being judgmental. You know, the kind of church you can bring visitors (of any level). I don’t think that’s a lot to ask. In this regard, I absolutely “wanted to have my cake and eat it too”.

I was discouraged in our first attempt. This particular church was recommended by my good friend Wistful. Wistful knows me very well and I trust her insights. We got all dressed up as we usually do, and even though Triple M did not feel well this particular day, we still went. I won’t go into a lot of detail but it was conservative in the “let’s judge exterior behaviors and apply random Bible verses to support our disdain” kind of way. It was not a place I would bring a “lost” person. I have this crazy idea that church is for the lost. I get lost. Lately through God’s Grace, mostly in the arms of Jesus.

We decided that our second attempt would be the church closest to Triple M’s home. It is a newer congregation. I had no idea what to expect. We once again discussed our hopes. One thing I will say about Triple M and The Hooligans is that they are great sports about things. They inspire me to be a better person in this way when I get a little discouraged. Off we went with our church best and…

Frosting!!! Lots and lots of frosting on this cake! The people were friendly, the classes were Bible driven, and the music was fantastic. Oh, I didn’t mention music before. I know. Even though music is not a deal breaker for me, I truly enjoy wonderful music during worship. We are going back next week for seconds. Warm fellowship is truly sweet, just like Tres Leches cake!

Substance

Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV) Says: 1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I was reminded of the above while searching…I was searching with Triple M and The Hooligans. I had high hopes (not in a Frank Sinatra kind of way) for this trek, but alas I was disappointed. I do not want to risk falling squarely into the category I am describing, so I will refrain from details.

I was reminded also of what is meaningful in spiritual matters, what I know to be true about the heart of Jesus and how blessed I am to be surrounded by people of substance, and in particular, Triple M. Yes, shout out again to Triple M because I learn so very much from him!

There is a song by 4HIM called “The Measure of a Man”. Part of the lyrics follow:

This world can analyze and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you and they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth than their human eyes can see

Oh, I say the measure of a man is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart

And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

I don’t know another man like Triple M. The kind that opens doors, and visits his parents just because he wants to. I don’t know another man that actually cares about the people he works with and wants them to be the most competent, fulfilled employees they can be. A man that listens enough to know how to pleasantly surprise you and help you with the loads you carry (including those pesky laundry loads when the washer quits on you). Or a man who you are not ashamed your Hooligans would model after in almost every way. I say “almost” because he is not perfect. He strives for excellence, though and that is good enough for me.

Ellen White wrote about such men (see note below). I am blessed and proud to know at least one. If my sons turn out like him, I would be perpetually proud.

The greatest want of the world is the want of men,--men who will not be bought or sold; men who in their inmost souls are true and honest; men who do not fear to call sin by its right name; men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.--Education, p. 57.

Silliness, Snuggles, and Sandcastles

If you had told me, back in November 2010 that my life would be the way it is right now, I would have laughed…I would have laughed a lot. I hope that as you told me this nonsense, I was free of any green juice in my mouth because that would have been quite the site…of you with green juice all over your wonderful (possibly holiday) shirt!

The Hooligans and I spent the months of November through January in the midst of Cinci’s various kidney surgeries and recovery. To say that it was heartbreaking for me to watch my youngest child go through so much pain is an understatement. There are no words. Even with that in mind, I am sure Cinci would agree there are no words to describe everything he felt in his own body and soul. In many ways, I thought this might be the end to silliness as we knew it.

Cinci may be described as a very energetic child (think Hammy from Over the Hedge); it is not always in a frantic way, but full of life and passion about … all things Lego and everyone and anyone who encounters him learns this quickly. He is also very affectionate in an in your face, “mommy may I have a hug and snuggle with you while on your lap even though I weigh almost 100 lbs” kind of way. That is not my natural inclination. There were moments when I knew I MUST treasure those snuggles. Snuggles may be short-lived especially from this tween.

As I sat at the beach (the kind surrounded by an ocean) last week watching Cinci build sandcastles, I felt amazingly blessed! I once again realized I have no appropriate words to thank all those who prayed for his healing and strength for me. I truly believe that it was the power of prayer and God’s grace that brought us through. I sat there with some of my favorite people including Señorita, Triple M, and The Hooligans. Had you told me in November this would be the case, I would have laughed or maybe cried incredulously.

I laugh a lot more than I cry these days. I am thankful for Cinci’s ongoing health progress. I am thankful for the consistent and loving friends in my life, and I am thankful for Triple M (his snuggles are appropriately different) who looks for ways to make life easier for us and injects himself into the silliness that is “us”. We continue "building", just not on sand...

Belonging

I am not a loner by standard definition. I thrive when I am around people, especially those I love. From time to time, I feel lonely even when surrounded by crowds. I will venture to guess that from time to time, you feel this way, too. Worse than feeling lonely are those moments when you feel neither “in” nor “out”. A good friend recently described it as being “the odd girl out”.

It’s tough when we don’t feel like we fit in. Like the “Ugly Duckling”, we face the challenge of not understanding why we are different, but constantly being reminded that we are. Among married friends, it is the single person. Among young workers, it is the older employee. Among families, it is the barren woman. In the schoolyard, it is the shortest kid and so on and on.

A good way we can ensure others feel like the odd person out is to constantly belittle them and remind them of their shortcomings. We all know how well this works in helping someone change their ways or their circumstances.

Tell a single person they need to get out more and be more approachable, or their time will come. It’s even better when you’ve been married like ten years! Tell your older co-worker they don’t understand the new ways of doing things. It’s especially helpful to them if they were one of the first hires in your company and can do any job there. Tell your friend that cannot get pregnant that she just needs to relax. Oh, and make sure you do it while your three hooligans ages 2-6 are running around like crazy and your newborn is at your breast. In the schoolyard, be sure to tell that little kid that size doesn’t matter and he needs to grow a pair. Make sure, however, you do it very loudly while he’s trying to get the sand off his face.

Somehow, someway, we need to figure out how to make those around is feel more like swans than ugly ducklings. We should all be swans to somebody. We ARE all swans to Somebody. Make someone (preferably everyone) you come in contact with today feel like a swan!

It’s in the Script

Surprisingly (because as discussed previously, my mind’s eye is extremely imaginative), and much to my family and close friends’ chagrin, I am a horrible TV and movie watcher. It seems that when one of them is “forced” to watch something with me, they develop this “I would rather be listening to cats mating or chalk screeching on a chalkboard” look.


For unexplainable reasons, my brain can only remain captive to both obviously and unashamedly fictional themes (think Tom & Jerry) or plausible and/or factually accurate dramas (think original Law & Order). My brain doesn’t have an in between level of acceptance. The latest casualty in this was my great friend, SouthernCharm.

SouthernCharm and I had been vacationing at an undisclosed, reclusive location in the mountains of a southern state. It was very relaxing, very relaxing indeed. SouthernCharm is an amazing external stimulus receiver. She can read from her Nook, listen to the TV, and chat with me all at the same time. I can barely speak and twirl my hair concurrently. She has a gift.

We were watching “Drop Dead Diva”. The premise of the show apparently, is to get as many employment law related topics as upside down as possible. As an HR professional, I simply cannot overlook such atrocities, especially not coming from Lifetime, Television for Women!!! As I question SouthernCharm incessantly about the implausibility of their cases having merit, she turns to me and says, “It’s all in the script”.

“It’s all in the script.” How wonderful it would be to accept that! I imagine that if I was capable of sitting down and taking it in, viewing experiences would be much more enjoyable for everyone – especially everyone else.

That simple line encapsulates, in my opinion, a greater truth, however. Many times in life, we try to explain away the unexplainable. Sometimes it is just as simple as that. Sometimes it’s just easier to be able to accept the status quo of various circumstances. That’s not to say we limit our drive to overcome, but we exercise our willingness to be at peace in spite of what surrounds us. Life would be more enjoyable that way – for everyone.

Have I told you how I feel about commercials?

Tuning In

Growth in relationships takes time. Real relationships take an investment to develop. In my opinion, this is true for friendships, family, work relationships, and in romantic love. As a contributor to each, you have to attune yourself to the needs of the other person. Otherwise, these “relationships” are self-serving with little possibility of a future. I speak in terms of one-on-one since I am not aware of any other way relationships prosper.

I don’t know how it is for you, but it seems for me that the “little things” tend to be more meaningful than the “big things”. I could list a myriad of examples for each, but those would be the “little things” and “big things” in my life. I venture to say they vary in yours. Some of what comprises the little things in my life are an affirmation of my existence by note, call, e-mail or text, a kiss hello, green juice, and letting me in your space.

Again, “my space” (not the social networking site) and “your space” will vary. I am very generous with my space. I like to have people around the majority of the time with the exception of immediately when I get home (bathroom calls first) or in my kitchen. I admit I do much better before 9pm. I will take the early bird special any day. I am sure there will come a day when I shall move to Florida and enjoy that perk! I also don’t mind sharing most things or making changes for the good of all with one major exception – DO NOT TOUCH MY CAR RADIO! Ask The Hooligans. Many a hand has been slapped during the attempt.

Being very cognizant in how I feel about someone messing with my radio, I am careful in my requests for others to change the radio station. However, I plunged recently while in Triple M’s car. He has satellite radio. Oh, satellite radio! It brings back wonderful memories of the first time I ever heard Griffin House and Kasey Chambers. As I’ve mentioned previously, we are going to the beach (the kind that’s surrounded by an ocean) this summer. We will drive several hours with The Hooligans. It’s seriously going to be “a trip”.

I asked if we could find the Coffeehouse station. We searched and behold we found it. I then, *gasp* asked if there was enough room for my station in one of his preset buttons. You must understand that for an INTJ male, this is serious infringement on space. He paused and thought about it. Triple M is typically attuned to my needs and so he “made” room for my station in his car radio. Just one more way he let me know how he feels. He has such a way with the little things. I just keep tuning in for more.

Backpacking with baggage; backpacking in freedom…

According to Dictionary.com, the word baggage may be defined as things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability; impediments. To some extent, we all have baggage. This is so true, so prevalent that there is even a dating show built on this premise. The question there becomes how much baggage we can accept from each other. Certainly, there are deal breakers in relationships as there should be. I know for me, insincerity is definitely one. I am thankful for the realness in those I love. Sometimes, keeping it real is difficult and at times painful. However, I can’t imagine being able to place any trust in someone I doubted. I place a high value on honesty even when I may not necessarily like it.

In a previous post, “Rearview Mirrors”, I broached the subject of the kind of baggage that is unspeakable. Most times, I keep it that way but occasionally, I over share. It happens suddenly and before I catch myself. It’s typically awkward and uncomfortable. For a moment, I go back to that place that is shameful and makes me feel insecure of those around me and of myself. Then I am drawn back into reality. I am brought back to the lie that, to paraphrase Jon Acuff, “if people really knew you, they wouldn't love you. The truth is if people really knew you, they could really love you." That in turn reminds me of the beauty of sharing each other’s burdens. As an example, Jesus not only shared in the shame, in the unspeakable, but also chose to carry the burden for us, for me. He provides the way so that we are in fact no longer encumbered or weighed down.

One of my favorite paperbacks on this subject is called “Weight on the Lord” and despite its play on words, it’s not about weight loss which is a good thing because I typically visualize Jesus with an eight pack. He was, after all a hard working carpenter. On the front cover, Jesus is backpacking with a man. Jesus is the one carrying the backpack. Along with the book, a good representation of this is the song “Traveling Light” by Joel Hanson.

As a fan of backpacking, I would like to affirm that the journey is so much sweeter when someone that loves you takes the trek with you and accepts your baggage as theirs. I’ve learned that in order to truly be loved, you have to let yourself be known and backpack together unashamedly and in sincere and reckless abandon. Along the way, some rain must fall but it doesn’t make the trip any less lovely. There are discoveries along the way when you give yourself away that make it all worthwhile.

Planny, Planny…

I am an ENTP. That means my personality portrait is Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiving. If you are really, really curious to learn more here is a link: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENTP.html.

There are not that many ENTPs in the world. We account for a little over 3% of the general population.

As an ENTP that has a slight ENTJ (http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENTJ.html) tendency, I love to translate theories and possibilities into solid plans of action. I am both the one that dreams big and likes to lay out the plans on how we shall make those dreams come true! When the thought of something specific lights up in my mind, it is difficult to move me away from beginning the process. Finishing is a different story except for parties.

To be clear, my definition of a party may vary slightly to yours. I think any time two or more friends or family members join my boys and me, that’s a party even if all we are doing is eating popcorn and watching Hallmark. I love, love, love to have people around and I especially love to cook for them. Due to my limited available time, I plan menus and obsess over them for every “party” I have. Let’s just say that I have a solid layout of the menu for our week long vacation the second week of July. Today is June 10^th.

I recently moved (last week) to a rental home. My best friend, BamaGirl, is visiting us this weekend. I have been planning the meal since last Sunday. We are having turkey meatballs, (Triple M’s delectable recipe) salmon patties, cheesy potatoes, whipped sweet potatoes, broccoli, corn, pineapple upside down Bundt cake, brownies, (SouthernCharm’s infamous ones) and smoothies. Here is the thing: BamaGirl does not know at what time she is arriving, and it’s driving me loony. She knows this too.

When BamaGirl and I first became friends, we planned a surprise birthday party for her mom at a mutual friend’s home. She and I had only been “hanging out” for about three months and were still learning about each other’s quirks. I took the lead in planning since that’s my thing. I told BamaGirl to get to the house early so we could set up. We did not state a specific time. That was a mistake! My idea of early is about an hour. Her idea of early is fifteen minutes. We’ve learned to be more specific J.

BamaGirl is one of the most considerate, sweetest, and loveliest women I know. In my previous post, I shared about having a “Carrie” and a “Charlotte”. In my mind, BamaGirl is definitely “Charlotte”. She’s cried and laughed with me more than I deserve in the last couple of years and I’ve had the joy of being part of her family as an adopted sister. She’s amazing. To top that off, her little girl Sweetpea is just like butterflies and rainbows, lollipops and sunshine.

I‘ve tried very hard not to act stressed when we’ve spoken about our visit this week, but she knows me too well. Last night she sent me a note that said, “I am more worried about you stressing about it my planny planny friend”. That totally warmed my heart. BamaGirl is the kind of friend where you know, even when something goes wrong, the intent was always the best. She makes it easy to love her and be her friend. I learn everyday from her and her sweet, gentle spirit. Even if we only have popcorn and watch Hallmark when she comes over (after the food is burnt because I would have started cooking at 7am), it will be a party indeed!