Substance

Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV) Says: 1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I was reminded of the above while searching…I was searching with Triple M and The Hooligans. I had high hopes (not in a Frank Sinatra kind of way) for this trek, but alas I was disappointed. I do not want to risk falling squarely into the category I am describing, so I will refrain from details.

I was reminded also of what is meaningful in spiritual matters, what I know to be true about the heart of Jesus and how blessed I am to be surrounded by people of substance, and in particular, Triple M. Yes, shout out again to Triple M because I learn so very much from him!

There is a song by 4HIM called “The Measure of a Man”. Part of the lyrics follow:

This world can analyze and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you and they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth than their human eyes can see

Oh, I say the measure of a man is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart

And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

I don’t know another man like Triple M. The kind that opens doors, and visits his parents just because he wants to. I don’t know another man that actually cares about the people he works with and wants them to be the most competent, fulfilled employees they can be. A man that listens enough to know how to pleasantly surprise you and help you with the loads you carry (including those pesky laundry loads when the washer quits on you). Or a man who you are not ashamed your Hooligans would model after in almost every way. I say “almost” because he is not perfect. He strives for excellence, though and that is good enough for me.

Ellen White wrote about such men (see note below). I am blessed and proud to know at least one. If my sons turn out like him, I would be perpetually proud.

The greatest want of the world is the want of men,--men who will not be bought or sold; men who in their inmost souls are true and honest; men who do not fear to call sin by its right name; men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.--Education, p. 57.

Silliness, Snuggles, and Sandcastles

If you had told me, back in November 2010 that my life would be the way it is right now, I would have laughed…I would have laughed a lot. I hope that as you told me this nonsense, I was free of any green juice in my mouth because that would have been quite the site…of you with green juice all over your wonderful (possibly holiday) shirt!

The Hooligans and I spent the months of November through January in the midst of Cinci’s various kidney surgeries and recovery. To say that it was heartbreaking for me to watch my youngest child go through so much pain is an understatement. There are no words. Even with that in mind, I am sure Cinci would agree there are no words to describe everything he felt in his own body and soul. In many ways, I thought this might be the end to silliness as we knew it.

Cinci may be described as a very energetic child (think Hammy from Over the Hedge); it is not always in a frantic way, but full of life and passion about … all things Lego and everyone and anyone who encounters him learns this quickly. He is also very affectionate in an in your face, “mommy may I have a hug and snuggle with you while on your lap even though I weigh almost 100 lbs” kind of way. That is not my natural inclination. There were moments when I knew I MUST treasure those snuggles. Snuggles may be short-lived especially from this tween.

As I sat at the beach (the kind surrounded by an ocean) last week watching Cinci build sandcastles, I felt amazingly blessed! I once again realized I have no appropriate words to thank all those who prayed for his healing and strength for me. I truly believe that it was the power of prayer and God’s grace that brought us through. I sat there with some of my favorite people including Señorita, Triple M, and The Hooligans. Had you told me in November this would be the case, I would have laughed or maybe cried incredulously.

I laugh a lot more than I cry these days. I am thankful for Cinci’s ongoing health progress. I am thankful for the consistent and loving friends in my life, and I am thankful for Triple M (his snuggles are appropriately different) who looks for ways to make life easier for us and injects himself into the silliness that is “us”. We continue "building", just not on sand...

Belonging

I am not a loner by standard definition. I thrive when I am around people, especially those I love. From time to time, I feel lonely even when surrounded by crowds. I will venture to guess that from time to time, you feel this way, too. Worse than feeling lonely are those moments when you feel neither “in” nor “out”. A good friend recently described it as being “the odd girl out”.

It’s tough when we don’t feel like we fit in. Like the “Ugly Duckling”, we face the challenge of not understanding why we are different, but constantly being reminded that we are. Among married friends, it is the single person. Among young workers, it is the older employee. Among families, it is the barren woman. In the schoolyard, it is the shortest kid and so on and on.

A good way we can ensure others feel like the odd person out is to constantly belittle them and remind them of their shortcomings. We all know how well this works in helping someone change their ways or their circumstances.

Tell a single person they need to get out more and be more approachable, or their time will come. It’s even better when you’ve been married like ten years! Tell your older co-worker they don’t understand the new ways of doing things. It’s especially helpful to them if they were one of the first hires in your company and can do any job there. Tell your friend that cannot get pregnant that she just needs to relax. Oh, and make sure you do it while your three hooligans ages 2-6 are running around like crazy and your newborn is at your breast. In the schoolyard, be sure to tell that little kid that size doesn’t matter and he needs to grow a pair. Make sure, however, you do it very loudly while he’s trying to get the sand off his face.

Somehow, someway, we need to figure out how to make those around is feel more like swans than ugly ducklings. We should all be swans to somebody. We ARE all swans to Somebody. Make someone (preferably everyone) you come in contact with today feel like a swan!

It’s in the Script

Surprisingly (because as discussed previously, my mind’s eye is extremely imaginative), and much to my family and close friends’ chagrin, I am a horrible TV and movie watcher. It seems that when one of them is “forced” to watch something with me, they develop this “I would rather be listening to cats mating or chalk screeching on a chalkboard” look.


For unexplainable reasons, my brain can only remain captive to both obviously and unashamedly fictional themes (think Tom & Jerry) or plausible and/or factually accurate dramas (think original Law & Order). My brain doesn’t have an in between level of acceptance. The latest casualty in this was my great friend, SouthernCharm.

SouthernCharm and I had been vacationing at an undisclosed, reclusive location in the mountains of a southern state. It was very relaxing, very relaxing indeed. SouthernCharm is an amazing external stimulus receiver. She can read from her Nook, listen to the TV, and chat with me all at the same time. I can barely speak and twirl my hair concurrently. She has a gift.

We were watching “Drop Dead Diva”. The premise of the show apparently, is to get as many employment law related topics as upside down as possible. As an HR professional, I simply cannot overlook such atrocities, especially not coming from Lifetime, Television for Women!!! As I question SouthernCharm incessantly about the implausibility of their cases having merit, she turns to me and says, “It’s all in the script”.

“It’s all in the script.” How wonderful it would be to accept that! I imagine that if I was capable of sitting down and taking it in, viewing experiences would be much more enjoyable for everyone – especially everyone else.

That simple line encapsulates, in my opinion, a greater truth, however. Many times in life, we try to explain away the unexplainable. Sometimes it is just as simple as that. Sometimes it’s just easier to be able to accept the status quo of various circumstances. That’s not to say we limit our drive to overcome, but we exercise our willingness to be at peace in spite of what surrounds us. Life would be more enjoyable that way – for everyone.

Have I told you how I feel about commercials?