Putting Away Childish Things

Some years ago, a friend of mine gave me some bright and colorful plush toy spider monkeys. They were white with bright pink or bright purple. I thought they were super cute and, since they had long arms, I promptly got on my bed, on my tippy toes and hung all three of them on my ceiling fan because, that is what a mid-30s woman does with plush toy monkeys. It seemed a reasonable way to display them.

I quite enjoyed turning on the ceiling fan and watching them become flying monkeys! I would repeat this process multiple times a day. I reasoned that we can all be like children from time to time especially when you don’t share your room with another adult.  I had these monkeys (and followed my fun process) for about two years, then circumstances changed.

It was a good change. It was a fantastic change! It was even better than watching plush toy spider monkeys flying off my ceiling fan. It was love…a marriage proposal…a wedding…and moving.

I realized that the monkeys should not go with me when I married and moved in with my husband. For some reason, it seemed silly to take them with me since a) I don’t have small children, b) we wouldn’t have a ceiling fan, and c) I was pretty sure my husband would not appreciate them as much as I did. I can be perceptive like that. Because of my greater love for my husband than the fascination I had with these monkeys, I gave them to the friend who gave them to me. That seemed reasonable since, by this time, said friend had a toddler. A toddler would appreciate these monkeys for sure.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how proud I was with myself for being able to give up my monkeys. It was a process for me to be okay with giving them up. One would think it should have been an obvious and easy decision but for me, it was a struggle as I did not want to feel as if I was “giving up who I am”. I was determined I wouldn’t do this for anyone, no matter how much I loved them. Yet because of love, this particular decision was easy.

More recently, I have also been thinking about other childish things I have been very unwilling to give up or how in many ways, I have been unwilling to mature. I have stubbornly said to myself “I am not giving up who I am” no matter how much I love someone and with that thought, I realized how very shallow my love is for others.

1 Corinthians 13 is knowns as “The Love Chapter”. It is often read at weddings. Because of its (in my opinion) overuse, I had developed a disdain for this chapter. I have rolled my eyes often when I’ve heard it. I forbade the officiant of our wedding to even think of quoting from this chapter. I now believe that, deep inside, I felt “called out” every time I heard it. Listening to this chapter reminds me how little I know how to love and how unlovable and unreasonable I can be.

Most days, I can be eloquent, knowledgeable, unwavering, hard-working, and generous. On those same days I can be inpatient, envious, arrogant, egocentric, rude, and/or easily offended. Many days I don’t want to think the best in people, not hoping for the best in circumstances or motives, especially relating to those I love. Certainly I don’t feel like enduring their shortcomings. And, because of my lack of true love for them, in my mind, they seem to return the favor.

Not “giving up who I am” often translates for me as an innate ability to hold grudges. The Hooligans have often told me I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. I have been proud of that as if I received a medal.

This particular trait is in stark contrast with 1 Corinthians 13. This is probably another reason I have not appreciated this chapter as much as I should. “…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” in verse seven has been particularly challenging lately. It has challenged me to grow up. It is my challenge to continually put away the childish (self-centered) things that keep me from loving like Him. Monkeys are cute unless they are slinging vile at you! My grudge-holding abilities are like that. It’s not attractive.

In contrast to how I am, He suffers long and is kind; He does not envy. Never has He sought things for Himself and no matter how I behave, He is never provoked to despise me. He thinks great plans for me, and doesn’t quite like when I am unjust. When I am honest with myself and with Him, He rejoices! He bears all with me, believes in me, provides hope, and endures with me.

“Giving up who I am” – giving up childish things - provides the room so that I can be like Him not in part, but entirely and the true version of who I should be.

No monkeying around necessary or unreasonably holding grudges for that matter.