Belonging

I am not a loner by standard definition. I thrive when I am around people, especially those I love. From time to time, I feel lonely even when surrounded by crowds. I will venture to guess that from time to time, you feel this way, too. Worse than feeling lonely are those moments when you feel neither “in” nor “out”. A good friend recently described it as being “the odd girl out”.

It’s tough when we don’t feel like we fit in. Like the “Ugly Duckling”, we face the challenge of not understanding why we are different, but constantly being reminded that we are. Among married friends, it is the single person. Among young workers, it is the older employee. Among families, it is the barren woman. In the schoolyard, it is the shortest kid and so on and on.

A good way we can ensure others feel like the odd person out is to constantly belittle them and remind them of their shortcomings. We all know how well this works in helping someone change their ways or their circumstances.

Tell a single person they need to get out more and be more approachable, or their time will come. It’s even better when you’ve been married like ten years! Tell your older co-worker they don’t understand the new ways of doing things. It’s especially helpful to them if they were one of the first hires in your company and can do any job there. Tell your friend that cannot get pregnant that she just needs to relax. Oh, and make sure you do it while your three hooligans ages 2-6 are running around like crazy and your newborn is at your breast. In the schoolyard, be sure to tell that little kid that size doesn’t matter and he needs to grow a pair. Make sure, however, you do it very loudly while he’s trying to get the sand off his face.

Somehow, someway, we need to figure out how to make those around is feel more like swans than ugly ducklings. We should all be swans to somebody. We ARE all swans to Somebody. Make someone (preferably everyone) you come in contact with today feel like a swan!