Because He first loved me...

(This is Part One of Three so get ready. Part Two will appear on Friday, August 12th)

I wrote this last summer. I won’t provide all the boring and now not relevant background on what started it. Let’s just say someone thought I was not “Christianee” enough. You see, while I hold steadfastly to what I believe, and feel extremely comfortable not having to defend this, I measure, if measure is the right word, others’ relationship with the Lord based on the evidence in their life, and not on what they necessarily profess. If it’s real, it’s lived out loud. You can’t fake loving the Lord, and if you love the Lord, you don’t have to fake it. In my opinion, it’s impossible to hide it (check out Peter trying to deny Jesus successfully for an example).

I’ve often said that I became a Seventh Day Adventist first and later a Christian. What I mean by that is that it’s possible to profess by tradition, doctrinal regurgitation, and behavior, a faith that does not live up to what being a Christian encompasses. Being a follower of Jesus is more than observance, it’s more than tradition, it’s more than a denomination – it’s more than a label.

We like to label things. It begins when we are born. We get a name. If we’re lucky, our parents have enough sense not to name us something “unique” aka ridiculous. Then as we develop, other labels appear. Some are descriptors like happy, quirky, outgoing, reserved, quiet, extroverted, etc. Some are not nice like loser, ugly, pain, know-it-all, etc. Later as adults we get the fun ones, like liberal, conservative, anarchist, etc. Labels by design are descriptors that forewarn the audience of the content. The problem with labels as it relates to people is that people can’t be defined by one label, at least not usually. It’s the inclusivity of it all. We want to belong. The only label that I have accepted as my own is “Christian” since being labeled a Christian would be the biggest affirmation that Christ has changed my life. Asides from that one, I can do without labels.

My biggest issue with labels is that placing all-inclusive labels on people limits our healthy perception. For example, it’s not a secret that my face typically expresses my excitement. However, that doesn’t mean you know me if you don’t know how to interpret those faces. Partly because of my work, and partly because of my temperament (ENTP with ENTJ tendencies--I’m always one point away from either P or J; it’s weird, I know-- aka Choleric/Sanguine) I have trained myself to NOT make faces. So, although you may think you can typically guess how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking, you can’t. I have learned to be very guarded. An extrovert that is guarded is very strange, but I digress by labeling myself. We limit healthy perceptions of others by disregarding conditions and the Lord’s leading when we automatically assign a position or frame of mind to someone without asking them what they really believe or think. I believe this happens within denominations.

There are differences between denominations, this is true. Some differences are self imposed, many based on tradition, a few based on preferences, and others based on different interpretation of particular Bible teachings. With the exception of what may be included in the latter, most differences are not what I believe are salvation issues. A salvation issue (my words) is one that separates us from God, alienates us from a continuing relationship with Jesus, and interferes with the Holy Spirit’s sanctifying work in our lives. If it doesn’t do that, I don’t think it’s an issue worth fighting over. But that’s just me; feel free to disagree.

With that in mind, I wanted to go through our denominational beliefs or creed and give my take on them. I hope that, whatever denomination you are, you take the time to reflect on the same. You may surprise yourself with what you really think and remind yourself of what you should believe. Adventists hold 28 beliefs. When we are baptized, we attest to them all. I’ve yet to meet one that follows them all or believes 100% in each. Something about being human and God allowing us to make our minds up for ourselves…

My commentary on each is simply going to reflect whether I believe it’s a salvation issue or a non salvation issue and why. I am hoping I don’t get dis-fellowshipped after this, but I am simply being honest.

1. Holy Scriptures: The Holy Scriptures, Old and New Testaments, are the written infallible revelation of the will and Word of God. Absolutely a salvation issue. The Bible truly is God’s letter to us. Not only is Jesus revealed throughout, we can see history unfold via prophecy, and receive common sense everyday guidance on daily living topics like health, work, inter personal relationships, and so much more. If we don’t believe what the Bible has to say, then how can we believe God?

2. Trinity: There is one God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, a unity of three co-eternal Persons. God is immortal, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Absolutely a salvation issue. I cannot fathom having a relationship with Jesus without believing that in conjunction with the Father and Holy Spirit, they made available the plan of salvation.

3. Father: God is the loving and merciful creator and ruler of all. Salvation issue. We were designed by God and He makes provision for us. I cannot imagine His Splendor.

4. Son: Jesus was conceived of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. He lived to experience temptation and to be an example of the power and righteousness of God. Jesus will return to deliver salvation and order to all. Salvation issue. “No one comes to the Father except through the Son.” Jesus died for us, for me!!! Furthermore, He’s coming back for me soon. Talk about happily ever after and Prince Charming. There is something to that little girl’s longing for a hero to rescue her and carry her off to safety. Jesus is that and so much more.

5. Holy Spirit: Through the Holy Spirit, God inspired the writers of Scripture. The spirit gives us faith and conviction to share the goodness of God with our fellow man. Salvation issue. I don’t know how we could have victory without the Holy Spirit, the Comforter strengthening us.

6. Creation: God has created all things, and set aside the Sabbath as a day of rest in memory of the glory of the creation of the earth and man. Salvation issue. Well, at least the understanding that the Godhead created us in their image and wanted to spend time with us. You can’t have a relationship without spending time together, uninterrupted time. Yes, I am a quality time person so this one is essential for me.

7. Nature of Man: Man and woman were made in the image of God, and are blessed with a free will. We are imperfect, and are thus subject to suffering and death. God calls all to love one another and to care for all of creation. Salvation issue but reflected more in how we treat other people. We need to give people freedom, love, time, and truth for their development. That last part is courtesy of Dr. Tom McFarland. “They’ll know we are Christians by our love.”

8. Great Controversy: There is a great controversy between good and evil, between Christ and Satan. The rebellion provoked by Satan has led to sin and strife between us as well. Although tempted by Satan, man is guided and protected by the Holy Spirit and angels sent by Christ. Salvation issue. A basic understanding of this helps us understand why bad things happen to good people. We are therefore not resentful towards God and hence our relationship is stronger.

9. Life, Death, and Resurrection of Christ. Duh! Absolute salvation issue. His example leads me to be a better person in serving others, His death paid the penalty for my sin, and His resurrection sealed the possibility of my eternal life. That does sound selfish but considering He would have done it for just me (or just you), hey, I’m happy.

TUNE IN NEXT FRIDAY FOR PART TWO!

Journal(ism)

As conversationalists, people like me (ENTPs) may be described as fluent, mentally quick, and often enjoy verbal sparring with others. While doing so, we may even switch sides just for the love of the debate. This is good and all, until you say something you wish was retractable, or like the feature in Outlook that allows you to “recall” the message. I don’t know if you’re like me, but when someone tries to “recall” a message I’m like, “Ooh, I wonder what they said they shouldn’t have…” and therefore open the original message quicker than I run to the break room when someone brings chocolate chip cookies!

This switching of sides for giggles and grins backfires from time to time. It’s difficult to prove yourself credible when people don’t know where you really stand on an issue. Although I enjoy a debate, it’s equally enjoyable to me for those I care about to know confidently what my important “isms” are. I am speaking of the “isms” that represent my philosophical, political, moral, and/or belief system.

I had such a backfire, or maybe it was a misfire, I am not sure, last night. All I know is that yesterday while watching episode five of “The Pacific” with Triple M, I began a ridiculous conversation about Military Recruiters and their hideous tactics. My main source of information in my very intellectual (read as misinformed) argument was Michael Moore. Yes, Michael Moore. The guy that dropped out of college, hates guns, will not appear on a wellness poster any time soon, and hates most “isms” that I deeply value, especially capitalism. That guy. That was my one and only source.

I tried to recover; I sure did. Triple M was gracious. He looked disturbed though and while attempting to understand what in the world I was trying to say got the Joe Friday, “Just the facts, ma’am” look on his face. My “recovery” included the wonderful phrase, “We can agree to disagree” except I really didn’t know what I was talking about. I think he forgave me. That or I shall find myself in the presence of his dad (who was drafted back in the day), in front of a podium at Triple M’s house to continue the debate while his dad observes and judges for credibility.

Thankfully, my spirits were lifted when I got home. I had a special parcel from Señorita! She sent me the most beautiful journal with a painting of dogs sitting on beach chairs. This reminded me of another time I didn’t know what I was talking about while searching for the beach (the kind surrounded by an ocean). I was misinformed and misguided on that particular trek, but eventually found the place I meant to find. Señorita also included the loveliest note. She made me sound like golden retriever puppies that smell of cotton candy and have bubbles surrounding them.

I am thankful for the agapism as shown by Señorita in her awesome note. I am thankful that Triple M puts up with my conceptualism even when it’s not filled with intellectualism and Michael Moore, boo you! I am all about capitalism. I’m writing THAT in my new journal!

Having your cake…

About 18 months ago, I was impressed with the fact that I’ve had everything I’ve ever wanted; just never all at the same time. This includes: being in love, living in the location of my dreams, being loved, purchasing a home, having a good hair day, getting along with my children, having turquoise walls, being out of debt, having a fulfilling job, being thin, reaping career success, and being of sound mind.

When I realized this, I was both relieved and concerned. I was relieved because I no longer felt like I was “missing” something during those times that I didn’t have it all (or all together). Then I felt concerned because I felt like I lost the oomph to better myself if I accepted this. I mean, what’s the point in having your cake and not eating it? I never understood why it’s a bad thing to have your cake and want to it eat. Why bake it? Why frost it? Why slice it? Why serve it?...if not to eat it! (and probably have seconds too!)

Triple M, The Hooligans, and I had been discussing finding a church home now that The Hooligans and I relocated to a new area. Well, the area itself is not new as I lived here for about a decade some years back. I live in the same general area as before but not close enough to attend my former church. Our list of requirements was not that extensive. We wanted a church home that is biblically sound with conservative values but without being judgmental. You know, the kind of church you can bring visitors (of any level). I don’t think that’s a lot to ask. In this regard, I absolutely “wanted to have my cake and eat it too”.

I was discouraged in our first attempt. This particular church was recommended by my good friend Wistful. Wistful knows me very well and I trust her insights. We got all dressed up as we usually do, and even though Triple M did not feel well this particular day, we still went. I won’t go into a lot of detail but it was conservative in the “let’s judge exterior behaviors and apply random Bible verses to support our disdain” kind of way. It was not a place I would bring a “lost” person. I have this crazy idea that church is for the lost. I get lost. Lately through God’s Grace, mostly in the arms of Jesus.

We decided that our second attempt would be the church closest to Triple M’s home. It is a newer congregation. I had no idea what to expect. We once again discussed our hopes. One thing I will say about Triple M and The Hooligans is that they are great sports about things. They inspire me to be a better person in this way when I get a little discouraged. Off we went with our church best and…

Frosting!!! Lots and lots of frosting on this cake! The people were friendly, the classes were Bible driven, and the music was fantastic. Oh, I didn’t mention music before. I know. Even though music is not a deal breaker for me, I truly enjoy wonderful music during worship. We are going back next week for seconds. Warm fellowship is truly sweet, just like Tres Leches cake!

Substance

Matthew 7:1-5 (NKJV) Says: 1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

I was reminded of the above while searching…I was searching with Triple M and The Hooligans. I had high hopes (not in a Frank Sinatra kind of way) for this trek, but alas I was disappointed. I do not want to risk falling squarely into the category I am describing, so I will refrain from details.

I was reminded also of what is meaningful in spiritual matters, what I know to be true about the heart of Jesus and how blessed I am to be surrounded by people of substance, and in particular, Triple M. Yes, shout out again to Triple M because I learn so very much from him!

There is a song by 4HIM called “The Measure of a Man”. Part of the lyrics follow:

This world can analyze and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you and they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth than their human eyes can see

Oh, I say the measure of a man is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart

And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man

I don’t know another man like Triple M. The kind that opens doors, and visits his parents just because he wants to. I don’t know another man that actually cares about the people he works with and wants them to be the most competent, fulfilled employees they can be. A man that listens enough to know how to pleasantly surprise you and help you with the loads you carry (including those pesky laundry loads when the washer quits on you). Or a man who you are not ashamed your Hooligans would model after in almost every way. I say “almost” because he is not perfect. He strives for excellence, though and that is good enough for me.

Ellen White wrote about such men (see note below). I am blessed and proud to know at least one. If my sons turn out like him, I would be perpetually proud.

The greatest want of the world is the want of men,--men who will not be bought or sold; men who in their inmost souls are true and honest; men who do not fear to call sin by its right name; men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall.--Education, p. 57.

Silliness, Snuggles, and Sandcastles

If you had told me, back in November 2010 that my life would be the way it is right now, I would have laughed…I would have laughed a lot. I hope that as you told me this nonsense, I was free of any green juice in my mouth because that would have been quite the site…of you with green juice all over your wonderful (possibly holiday) shirt!

The Hooligans and I spent the months of November through January in the midst of Cinci’s various kidney surgeries and recovery. To say that it was heartbreaking for me to watch my youngest child go through so much pain is an understatement. There are no words. Even with that in mind, I am sure Cinci would agree there are no words to describe everything he felt in his own body and soul. In many ways, I thought this might be the end to silliness as we knew it.

Cinci may be described as a very energetic child (think Hammy from Over the Hedge); it is not always in a frantic way, but full of life and passion about … all things Lego and everyone and anyone who encounters him learns this quickly. He is also very affectionate in an in your face, “mommy may I have a hug and snuggle with you while on your lap even though I weigh almost 100 lbs” kind of way. That is not my natural inclination. There were moments when I knew I MUST treasure those snuggles. Snuggles may be short-lived especially from this tween.

As I sat at the beach (the kind surrounded by an ocean) last week watching Cinci build sandcastles, I felt amazingly blessed! I once again realized I have no appropriate words to thank all those who prayed for his healing and strength for me. I truly believe that it was the power of prayer and God’s grace that brought us through. I sat there with some of my favorite people including Señorita, Triple M, and The Hooligans. Had you told me in November this would be the case, I would have laughed or maybe cried incredulously.

I laugh a lot more than I cry these days. I am thankful for Cinci’s ongoing health progress. I am thankful for the consistent and loving friends in my life, and I am thankful for Triple M (his snuggles are appropriately different) who looks for ways to make life easier for us and injects himself into the silliness that is “us”. We continue "building", just not on sand...

Belonging

I am not a loner by standard definition. I thrive when I am around people, especially those I love. From time to time, I feel lonely even when surrounded by crowds. I will venture to guess that from time to time, you feel this way, too. Worse than feeling lonely are those moments when you feel neither “in” nor “out”. A good friend recently described it as being “the odd girl out”.

It’s tough when we don’t feel like we fit in. Like the “Ugly Duckling”, we face the challenge of not understanding why we are different, but constantly being reminded that we are. Among married friends, it is the single person. Among young workers, it is the older employee. Among families, it is the barren woman. In the schoolyard, it is the shortest kid and so on and on.

A good way we can ensure others feel like the odd person out is to constantly belittle them and remind them of their shortcomings. We all know how well this works in helping someone change their ways or their circumstances.

Tell a single person they need to get out more and be more approachable, or their time will come. It’s even better when you’ve been married like ten years! Tell your older co-worker they don’t understand the new ways of doing things. It’s especially helpful to them if they were one of the first hires in your company and can do any job there. Tell your friend that cannot get pregnant that she just needs to relax. Oh, and make sure you do it while your three hooligans ages 2-6 are running around like crazy and your newborn is at your breast. In the schoolyard, be sure to tell that little kid that size doesn’t matter and he needs to grow a pair. Make sure, however, you do it very loudly while he’s trying to get the sand off his face.

Somehow, someway, we need to figure out how to make those around is feel more like swans than ugly ducklings. We should all be swans to somebody. We ARE all swans to Somebody. Make someone (preferably everyone) you come in contact with today feel like a swan!

It’s in the Script

Surprisingly (because as discussed previously, my mind’s eye is extremely imaginative), and much to my family and close friends’ chagrin, I am a horrible TV and movie watcher. It seems that when one of them is “forced” to watch something with me, they develop this “I would rather be listening to cats mating or chalk screeching on a chalkboard” look.


For unexplainable reasons, my brain can only remain captive to both obviously and unashamedly fictional themes (think Tom & Jerry) or plausible and/or factually accurate dramas (think original Law & Order). My brain doesn’t have an in between level of acceptance. The latest casualty in this was my great friend, SouthernCharm.

SouthernCharm and I had been vacationing at an undisclosed, reclusive location in the mountains of a southern state. It was very relaxing, very relaxing indeed. SouthernCharm is an amazing external stimulus receiver. She can read from her Nook, listen to the TV, and chat with me all at the same time. I can barely speak and twirl my hair concurrently. She has a gift.

We were watching “Drop Dead Diva”. The premise of the show apparently, is to get as many employment law related topics as upside down as possible. As an HR professional, I simply cannot overlook such atrocities, especially not coming from Lifetime, Television for Women!!! As I question SouthernCharm incessantly about the implausibility of their cases having merit, she turns to me and says, “It’s all in the script”.

“It’s all in the script.” How wonderful it would be to accept that! I imagine that if I was capable of sitting down and taking it in, viewing experiences would be much more enjoyable for everyone – especially everyone else.

That simple line encapsulates, in my opinion, a greater truth, however. Many times in life, we try to explain away the unexplainable. Sometimes it is just as simple as that. Sometimes it’s just easier to be able to accept the status quo of various circumstances. That’s not to say we limit our drive to overcome, but we exercise our willingness to be at peace in spite of what surrounds us. Life would be more enjoyable that way – for everyone.

Have I told you how I feel about commercials?